I think one of the hardest parts of parenting for me is seeing my children struggle with something be it math, peer relationships, or coping with life's ups and downs. The worst part is realizing that somehow whether through genetics or observation, they got that struggle from me.
Both our older boys have a hard time coping. Ivan seems to struggle most when he makes mistakes, he just can't seem to forgive himself for it and it bothers him for a long time. Erik tends to be more affected by things that don't go his way ( a classmate doesn't want to play with him, uhoh day ruined!).
We are working with them both on becoming better at coping and moving on. With Ivan we are working through strategies such as taking deep breaths and blowing away the mistake. We talk a lot about "turning it around" and "starting fresh". He is doing really well with this strategy. Just yesterday after a rough start getting out the door and being upset with his brother, he told me by the time that we reached the end of the driveway, "Mom, I turned it around and I'm ready to have a great day!".
With Erik we are working on pointing out all the good things that happen in any given day and trying to help him to find those positives on his own so he doesn't feel like his day is "ruined". He still struggles but he is improving on it.
So today could have been "one of those days" for me. The baby didn't sleep well which of course means I didn't either, ours was the only school district in the county that didn't call a snow day (when i really could have used one), I burnt breakfast, dropped a jar of laundry powder and it went everywhere, got pooped on, a pattern I ordered is lost in the mail, and the fabric I ordered came in wrong ( turquoise satin is definitely not cream cotton jersey).
But instead I'm trying to take a lesson from my kids and turn my attitude about today around. Even though they are at school I know I'm still setting a good example for them. They can tell, keen observers that children are...and when I pick them up from school I want them to see that mom had a good day, because really I did.
We had a great walk to school in a bunch of freshly fallen (and still falling) snow, the brisk walk woke me up and energized me ( as did the hot cup of coffee I had once I got home). The boys never complain when I say "Well, looks like cereal for breakfast", I didn't spill the entire jar of laundry powder. Poop...so what? I'm just happy to have an adorable 7 week old here! The pattern I'm sure will turn up, and the fabric company has awesome customer service and are shipping me the correct fabric today. See, I turned it around!
Some really special things have happened today like......boys adventuring across a snowy field, beautiful winter scenes, Magnus napping in front of the fireplace while i make bread, sleepy baby smiles.....the good stuff is always there, I just have to remember to look for it.
“Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?”
― L.M. Montgomery