Love those little boys!

It has been a hectic week or so here trying to figure out this big move in front of us, but a week where I keep becoming overwhelmed, not with all there is to do but with just how amazing my little boys are.

I got to spend some special one on one time with my Ivan the other day. I ran out of yarn for a project and asked him to come along with me to the craft store. Now the craft store is really not a place Ivan cares to go to, but he went along anyways. Little did he know that his mama is suffering from pregnancy brain and would drag him to not one, but four different craft stores (I also forgot my wallet and only had a few dollars I found in a pocket in my purse). He was so patient though and just happy to hold my hand while we went through aisle upon aisle of yarn. There were all sorts of little kid-crafty toys and treats in the stores and he asked if he could get one. Of course I had barely any money with me so I had to tell him no I couldn't afford to buy him a toy and get the yarn I needed. He was very graceful and understanding about my decline.

I was able to surprise him at the end of our shopping trip with a coloring book I found for a dollar. He was thrilled! The best part though had to be when we got in the car and he was looking at his new coloring book he said, " I can't wait to get home and share this with Erik". Love! It's times like these I feel like I'm doing alright with this mama thing :)

The rest of the week both the boys have been sick. They caught the nasty head cold I had last week. It has been lots of chicken soup and cuddling on the sofa. I hate when they are sick (but I do enjoy the extra cuddle time).

In other news the boys are going to spend the weekend with Auntie and then with Oma and Opa while the husband and I fly out to Milwaukee to try and find a place to rent to get us through the winter. I'm feeling really excited to see my new city for the first time and take this big step into making this move really happen! I still can't believe we will be moving in just over 2 weeks!

And we're off.....

to Wisconsin!!! 

That's right, my husband got the job transfer! So now the real journey begins. We are waiting to hear if we have 2 weeks or a month to make the 1000 mile move. I'm really okay with either time frame but it would be nice to have a few extra days on our side to go out and find a nice place to rent for the winter. 

I am most nervous about transferring all my prenatal care. I'm 23 weeks now and it is a little scary to be having to start off with a brand new midwife and at a brand new hospital/birthing center when January feels right around the corner. I'm sure it will be fine though, the unknown isn't necessarily a bad thing. 

Overall I am feeling very excited about this move. A fresh start in a new city. A new life for our reunited (and growing) family. An adventure that we are embarking on, Together. 

Where to start..

A friend of mine posted this image on Pinterest a few weeks ago and it just struck me. I look at it almost daily and try to remind myself of it when I feel discouraged.

I'm good at the "use what you have" part, very good at it in fact. I do what I can too, it's the part about starting where I am that keeps hanging me up.

Nine and a half years ago my husband was offered a job promotion that brought us halfway across the country, closer to my family yet still 3+ hours away. At the time it seemed like a good choice, but we made the classic mistake of not researching the area or spending much time here before he accepted the position.

For about 9 years we have been trying to leave, that's a long time to be dissatisfied with the area you live in.

For the first few years I kept thinking that the longer we were here, the more friends we made, the more discovery we did, that it would eventually start to feel like Home. It has never felt like Home, and I'm tired. Tired of the constant feeling of needing to get out, worn out from all the transfers applied for and denied, and scared that while the kids are still young we will never have that sense of putting down roots.

So before this baby is born we are trying once more. It has been a few years since we attempted a move (aside from the time we were separated and the kids and I moved around quite a bit, but that's another story). As I type this my husband is on the last leg of his 3 flight journey home from an interview for a transfer back halfway across the country, to a brand new city for both of us, a fresh start, and hopefully a place we can really call Home.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up, I really am. After so many past disappointments it feels unwise to get excited about the prospects of a new city, a new life. Yet, they are up. I can't help it. It's exciting to search through Craigslist and look at the homes we might rent, and even more exciting to look at the real estate websites and see that yes, in this new city we can afford a nice house for our family, something we have not been able to do here.

Don't get me wrong; I know that there is no perfect city, town or place. That every place offers drawbacks of its own unique kind. More than that it will be very hard to move a time zone away from my family who mean so much to me, especially with a new baby on the way. But I believe in my heart that Home is not where we are, where we have been, that we can make a home in this new city if given the chance.

I desperately want to " Start where I am", and I might have to sort out a way to do that right where I am but I really am hoping for a fresh start; a new location....I'm really hoping for Home.